Sam
by ShaedowCat
Summary: [C'V] A series of mini!drabbles, each about a year of Sam's life.
1. One

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Paring: **None...or none that are centric, anyway  
**Rating: **PG / K  
**Genre: **Supernatural/Angst/Tragedy  
**Disclaimer: **I own neither Dean nor Sam nor John...much to my dismay...I do, however, own my imagination, and the products thereof  
**Feedback: **Lots, please...kthnxbai  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Warning: **None I can think of...  
**Notes: **Same universe as all my fics. I've taken liberties with the details, here...they may not be canon, and will probably be disproved by the Kriptkeeper later on...

* * *

One is peace.

One is coming home from the hospital, wrapped in a soft blue blanket in your car seat in the back of the Impala. One is being carried gently by your father into the house, up the stairs and into your nursery, being laid in your crib. One is always smiling, never crying, and sleeping through the night almost from the get-go.

One is terror.

One is your mother running into your nursery. One is her scream splitting the night air, a scream of terror, of pain. One is your father running into your nursery. One is blood dripping into your crib, staining the blankets, your father's fingers. One is your father's cry of "Mary, no!", of flames - incandescent, insatiable - engulfing your mother, the roof, the room. One is crying, crying, crying, then being grabbed up and placed in careful hands, then being sped out of the house, out of danger, out of the fire.

One is safety.

One is crying, crying, crying, because your mother isn't here and you want her, miss her...miss her scent, her warmth, the gentle caress of her fingers against your cheek. One is feeling a bigger, warm, familiar body clamber into your makeshift crib. One is being lifted, cradled, held tightly but not too tight. One is drifting off to sleep, feeling warm and snug and protected.

* * *

Okay...so this follows along the same lines as **_Dean_**. I'm starting this fic between posts for _**Dean**_'s Three and Four, coz that's when Sam was born...everafter, the stories will run parallel. Hope y'all follow that, coz it's 1.26 in the mornin', and I certainly don't! lol : )

luv ShaedowCat xox

p.s. Out of curiosity, how many people would be interested in reading a sister!fic? Coz I have one that I'm plotting out, and I will post it, but before I do I'd just like to see who'd read it. It's a part of this whole AU that I've got goin' on here...I guess it could be called Future Fic, coz it's beyond the end of Devil's Trap...maybe a year and a half past (Dean's 28, Sam's 24).  
If y'all are interested, please let me know...just mention it in your reviews, a quick 'Yay!' or 'Nay!' to let me know your thoughts.  
Thanks!

luv SC xox


	2. Two

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **eek, the terrible twos...  
First Review Fic recipient is _**Spuffyshipper**_...e-mail or PM me your preference for your ficlet/drabble and I'll write it ASAP  
Thank-you _Spuffyshipper, samanddeanonly, noname32, _&_ Sparrow Lover _for your reviews...they make me feel warm and fuzzy!

* * *

Two is curiosity.

Two is toddling all through the apartment - up the halls, down the halls, through the rooms and back again - at dizzying speeds, exploring every inch, driving Daddy and Dean crazy as they try to keep up with you. Two is finding a million and one hidey-spaces that you can crawl into when you're tired from all that toddling, only to wake up to yells and shouts as Dean and Daddy frantically look for you.

Two is drawing pretty patterns in the salt Dean always spills on the ground - around your bed, across the windows, across the foot of the bedroom door, the front door... - as Daddy reads and Dean practices drawing stars and circles and lineslineslines on the paper Daddy gave him.

* * *

I should be working...

luv ShaedowCat xox


	3. Three

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Three is up...hip hip hooray!  
First review Request Fic goes to **_Thru Terry's Eyes..._**yay! If you'd like to claim your ficlet/drabble, please check out the guidelines on my profile and PM/put in your next review/e-mail me your request.  
Thanks a million to _Thru Terry's Eyes, noname32, Sparrow Lover, _& _WinchestersGirl._ Your reviews are like cookies...I love 'em!

* * *

Three is sitting in the back of the Impala with Dean, bored and restless because Daddy is talking to Caleb or Pastor Jim or Joshua about...stuff. Three is playing Tic Tac Toe or I Spy or Incy Wincy Spider...anything Dean can think of to keep you from climbing out of the window to pester Daddy for ice-cream. 

Three is being taught how to count by Dean, using the silver bullets Daddy makes for the guns to make it easier..._one, two, three, four, five, six_ in the barrel of the Colt..._one, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten_ - _"Hey, Sammy, you got to ten!"_ - into the clip for the Glock. Three is learning your alphabet looking at the pictures in Daddy's books that Dean shows you: A for Mommy, B for Banee, C for Shupacaba...

* * *

Well, there's three...I hope y'all like it! Again, thanks to everyone who reviews...you make my day every single time!

luv ShaedowCat xox : )

p.s.  
Dear Spuffyshipper,  
Unfortunately, I've already got all the details for the sister!fic sorted...sorry!  
If you take a look at my profile, you'll see the guidelines for the First Review Request Fic that I set up: a ficlet (a self-contained fic spanning one chapter) or a drabble (100 words exactly), written within a select few fandoms and based on a prompt (e.g. one of the Winchesters gets a hug)...double- and triple-drabbles (200- & 300-words) can also be written. For a few examples, check out some other fics of mine: _Deja Vu,_ _Cry,_ and _Comfort_.  
Hope that helps!  
luv Shaedowcat xox : )


	4. Four

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Number four, lock the door...  
First Review Request Fic goes to **_Spuffyshipper_**. You know the drill...  
No more thanks, because the only person to thank is _Spuffyshipper_, and I'm thanking her with a ficlet/drabble.

* * *

Four is watching as Daddy and Dean play with the knives. Four is wanting to do what Dean and Daddy are doing, but being told no, you're too little. Four is picking up one of the knives, being surprised by how heavy it is, and promptly dropping it...the tip nicks the middle of your left pinky on the way down, leaving a small cut that quickly fills with blod. Four is being so surprised that you don't even register the pain; it's only later, when Daddy asks for the bajillion-squillionth time if you're okay that it occurs to you that could've been da...dan..dangerous, and the tears start to fall. Four is promising (cross your heart) not to touch the knives until Daddy says so.

Four is Daddy saying he learned his lesson with the knives, and giving you bullets to sort and polish and paint with oily-smelly-stuff while Dean breaks and fixes the guns. Four is getting curious, 'cause the oil smells kinda nice, and deciding to drink some of it. Four is Daddy laughing and laughing and _laughing_ as you cough and sputter, 'cause it tastes _bitter_, and _oily_, and it sticks to your _throat_. Four is Daddy giving you a drink of milk, then taking you and Dean out for burgers and fries. Four is still tasting that stuff a week and a half later, and vowing to never _ever_ drink it again. _Ever_.

Four is Daddy walking in the back door of Pastor Jim's place with Dean in his arms. Four is leaping up from your puzzle and crowding around, grabbing at Daddy's legs, asking "What's wrong, Daddy? Why're you carrying Dean? Is Dean okay?" Four is getting your answer when Daddy puts Dean down and Dean slowly shakes his head before walking over to the sofa...except, not, because he's walking funny, like the two of you do after Daddy twirls you round and round in circles, and you get all dizzy. Four is asking why you couldn't get twirled, too, and Daddy grinning and saying you wouldn't have liked this kind of twirling. Four is taking one look at Dean's face and agreeing.

* * *

Okay...for all you Sammy fans out there howling bloody murder becasue I made him drink gun-oil...:dodges rotten fruit:...hey, wait a minute:dodges crockery: IT WASN'T GUN-OIL!

Yes, that's right folks..._not_ gun-oil. The oil Sammy was painting on the bullets was rosemary annointing oil...which has purifying and protective qualities.It has a nice scent, which woulda lured Sammy in...and, although it tastes foul, it has no severe repercussions. John did the right thing, giving Sammy milk...I promise:crosses heart:pulls face: Icky-yucky stuff...

Okies, that's it for now...Five should be up tomorrow...as soon asI write it. For the record, it's gonna be completely unrelated to the shtriga...

luv ShaedowCat xox : P

p.s.  
Dear Spuffyshipper  
Um...I is having difficulties with your story. :ducks head: I'm sorry! I just am. Don't worry, I _will_ write it...I've got it blocked out, kind of...it's just...I'm having issues with the characterization. I mean, I honestly can't see Dean ever using the thee words you were talking about...unless he or Sam - or both - were dying...and even then, he'd be reluctant.  
Also, I'm not sure about Sam falling apart since _Asylum_. I can, of course, see where you're coming from with it - shooting Dean, then leaving Dean, then Dean nearly dying by Scarecrow, then Dean nearly dying by electrocution, then Dean nearly dying by Reaper, and feeling responsible for the Reaper...man, when you lay it out like that, it _does_ sound bad- but I honestly think Sam would get over at least some of that by himself...shooting Dean, for example. Yes, some of what he said was kinda true, but he was also possessed, and not in control of his actions. And Dean got over being shot fairly quickly...  
Oh, I don't know. I'm just worried about not doing a good fic for you. Please reply to this in your review...be my cheer team! I will do it, I swear:crosses heart:  
luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	5. Five

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24..actually, she hasn't beta'd this one...I wrote it this morning! So, unbeta'd...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Five...four...three...two...one...blast off!  
First Review Request Fic goes to **_Sparrow Lover_**...again! Two for you! -:pats back:-  
Thanks a millions to _Sparrow Lover, Spuffyshipper _& _noname32_...reviews are my _Spiritus Vitae_...

* * *

Five is school.

You don't _like_ school.

Five is Daddy walking you and Dean into the school, going to the office to enrol you...once that's done, Dean goes one way and you and Daddy go the other. Five is Daddy staying with you for an hour, then leaving you all alone. Five is sitting in a corner behind a fort made of books, reading and reading, 'cause you know how to count and how to say your ABCs...Dean taught you how, so _there_.

Five is biting the teacher.

Five is kicking the teacher.

Five is running out the door of the classroom, speeding down the halls, until you see the number **4** on the door that means Dean's there, 'cause he's in grade four. Five is knocking on the door to the classroom and asking "'Scuse me, Miss, is Dean here?"

Five is Daddy saying maybe he'll home-school you this year.

* * *

And now, my pretties, I shall treat you to an:

**_Author's Ramble_**

Okay...I know people probably thought I was going to write about the shtriga from Sam's POV for this one...and I was...and then I got to thinking (yes, I know...never a good sign)...

How much would Sam really remember about the shtriga? Because as far as he was concerned, it was just a normal Hunt...he never actually saw the shtriga, he was still asleep when John came in, and the shtriga never took any of his life force..._therefore,_ I said to myself, _it couldn't have made a lasting impression!_ I therefore decided to do my take on Sammy's first day of school, because that is a normal thing to experience when one is five...

Also...To _Sparrow Lover_...about Sam's Four...I thought the exact same thing...Dean never drank anything from the bottles he opened...and he was _one_...hee hee hee...

Okay, that's it for now...Six should be up...soon-ish. Whenever I write it, I guess...

luv ShaedowCat xox : P

p.s. You know you're addicted to this site when you start dreaming about getting reviews...lol : )

luv SC


	6. Six

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** Aimz again...yay, I have Beta! -:is happy:-  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Six...pick up sticks? Oh, I don't know...  
First Review Request Fic goes to _Sammy girl at heart._ Again. -:rolls eyes:-  
Thankin' muchlies to _Sammy girl at heart, noname32, Spuffyshipper, Thru Terry's Eyes, _& _Sparrow Lover_.

* * *

Six is annoying.

Six is Dean following you _everywhere_...to the playground, through every store...even to the _bathroom_, until you say "Dean, quit_ following_ me!"

Six is hours in the car...hours and hours and _hours,_ and really, if you have to listen to any more of Daddy's music, you're gonna _scream_.

Six is you and Dean spending the times Daddy is off hunting with Caleb, or Joshua, or Pastor Jim, or another of Daddy's friends...which is fine...except you kinda miss it just being you and Dean...Dean wouldn't make you eat greens, and he'd play with you a lot more, and he'd let you stay up 'til ten with him, and he'd let you watch Thundercats. Six is telling Daddy so when he tucks you in one night; he sits and listens while you list the reasons, then he nods, bends down and kisses your forehead, and says "Okay."

Six is - the next time Daddy goes on a Hunt - staying back at the motel with Dean.

* * *

Okies...Six up. Yippee! Seven soon...and Eleven for _Dean_...soon...I promise...and Chapter 2 for _Blood_. And _Sammy girl at heart_'s fic, and _Spuffyshipper_'s FRRFs, and _Sparrow Lover_'s FRRFs...

OMG, what have I done? Why doesn't somebody stop me!

I'll be at my desk...

luv ShaedowCat xox O.o


	7. Seven

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters:** Sam, Dean, John, canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Sevensevensevensevensevenseven...sorry, minor sugar-high...  
First Review Request Fic goes to _Sammy girl at heart_...get back to me when you can with your prompt!  
Muchos Gracias to _Sammy girl at heart, kina24, Spuffyshipper, Thru Terry's Eyes, noname32, _&_ Sparrow Lover_...ta!

Also...I put it on my profile, and on _Dean_, but I figure I can't be too careful, so I'm saying it here...I've changed the guidelines for the First Review Request Fics. I've got so many Request Fics to write, I'm finding it really difficult to actually write for the original fics! Therefore, from now on, only the first review of: a) each story; and b) the 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th (and so on and so forth) chapters, will actually get Request Fics awarded.

_Spuffyshipper, _there's a note for you at the end...

* * *

Seven is your first salt and burn...okay, so maybe you didn't actually _burn_ it, but you helped Dad and Dean coat the bones in salt and gasoline before Dean lit the match and dropped it in...but why couldn't _you_ do it?

Seven is never really getting a satisfactory answer - _"Yes, Dean, I _do_ know what satisfactory means!"_ - from Dad.

* * *

Okay...Eight'll be up once I figure out what it is...

luv ShaedowCat xox :P

p.s.  
Dear Spuffyshipper,  
Okay, as for your FRRF for _Blood_...I don't know. Probably. I am, however, at the moment, fairly swamped with Review Fics to write. As stated above, I'm reducing the number I'm giving out, simply because it's just so time-consuming, I can't get down to writing the original fics.  
Your ficlets will be up as soon as humanly possible. So you understand where I'm coming from, I have 15 FRRFs to do (including yours), as well as _Dean, Sam, _&_ Blood_ to update, plus 2 B'day fics I have to write for a very good friend of mine. All up, that's 20 fics I have to either complete or update, so _please_, gimme a little leeway!  
Also...it's great you're gving me such detailed prompts...but it's also making it kinda difficult for me to write your ficlets. This is because you're giving me an awful lot of detail that you want me to fit in, and I just can't fit it into a fic that's only supposed to be one chapter long.  
In future, if you get a Review Fic, please keep your prompts to only a few words, such as "Sam is stressed out" or "Leo depressed about Big!Chris dying"...that way, if I need extra details, I can ask you, instead of trying to fit a lot into a little story.  
Hope that helps!  
luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	8. Eight

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** Sammy girl at heart...thank-you so much! -: smishes :-  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Eight...cardinal points of the compass. Oh, I don't know...I'm such an idiot...shut up, Melissa...  
As with _Dean_'s Twelve, sorry about the wait. Sammy was being difficult...I remember now why I don't like eight-year-olds...lol  
Super-duper thanks to _Sammy girl at heart, Spuffyshipper, Sparrow Lover, _&_ noname32_.

* * *

Eight is Dad teaching you how to take care of the knives as Dean looks on; you're a little nervous, considering what happened last time...you haven't touched Dad's knives in four years.

_"I think you're old enough to start now...just make sure you've got a good grip before you pick it up, or you'll chop your finger _off_, not just nick it."_

_"Daaad..."_

Eight is watching and listening attentively as he explains what to do, shows you...then Dean takes over, and the two of you set about cleaning, sharpening, and oiling all the blades, him keeping a close eye on you, helping out when you need it, leaving you to it when you don't. Eight is a quick grin and a quick hug and a "Good one, Sammy" once you finish.

Eight is Dad teaching you how to take apart and put together the shotgun...he says it's the simplest one to learn, and once you've mastered it, you can move onto the Colt. Eight is Dean sitting beside you, helping you...it takes you a couple of weeks to get it right, and by the end you're frustrated and cranky, because Dean had already moved onto the Colt by now when he was your age. Eight is Dean giving you a light punch on the arm and telling you to cheer up.

_"Maybe you're just not a gun person."_

Eight is Dad taking you out the back of Caleb's place and setting you up with an old crash-test dummy. Eight is Dad explaining that the knife is going to feel a lot heavier than usual when you start using it, especially after a while. Eight is running into Caleb's place, hyped up on adrenaline, because yeah, it's not like you actually _killed_ something, but Dad said you would've done serious damage, and wow it was amazing, it just felt _right:_ the moves, the stance, the weight of the knife in your hand, the feeling of the air moving around you, and _wow_, when can you do it again? Eight is Dad telling you you're an "adrenaline junkie".

Eight is wanting to learn more.

* * *

Okies...'tis done. Nine will be up soonish...if not tomorrow, then the next day...

Alright, I'm off...gotta write Chapter Two of _Blood_...my head hurts already...

Ciao banana...

luv ShaedowCat xox : P


	9. Nine

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Gimme an **N**...Gimme an **I**...Gimme an **N**...Gimme an**E**...  
Thanks and hugglesto _Kina, Spuffyshipper, Sparrow over,_& _noname32. _They make me so happy!

* * *

Nine is a closet monster, its whispers waking you up at night, making you run from the room to the kitchen where Dad is sitting at the table, circling news articles in a dozen newspapers that could be supernatural events. Nine is Dad walking over to the duffle in the corner and pulling out the .45 you'd practiced with that day, giving it to you with instructions to "shoot first, ask questions later" before sending you back to bed.

Nine is wondering why Dad couldn't have just lied and told you not to be afraid of the dark. Nine is wishing you didn't have to be.

* * *

And so it begins...

Plus...

**_Author's Ramble_**

For those of you who may have read this before 21-March-2007 and noticed the changes in name: No, you're not seeing things...I have changed **K**aleb back to **C**aleb...for reasoning, see my MySpace (URL of which can be found on my Profile).

Oh well, that's it for now...

Updating soonish...maybe tomorrow...

luv ShaedowCat xox : P

p.s. Does anyone know what the name of Sam's blade from _Pilot _is? As in the type of knife? It is _not_ a Hunga Munga or a Tiger/Dragon Claw...this I know. So what is it? If you want an Eleven for Sammy-boy, I need to know!

luv SC xox ; )


	10. Ten

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Ten little ghosties, standing in a row...salt 'em, burn their bones, watch them go. Um...ignore psychotic ramble, please.  
Thank-you to_Sammy girl at heart, Sparrow Lover, Spuffyshipper, wild wolf free17, noname32, _&_ Lamae._ Thanks a billion squillion for your lovely reviews!

* * *

Ten is _decem._

Ten is starting to learn Latin. Ten is picking it up from textbooks, from Dad's journal, in actual lessons from Pastor Jim and Caleb. Ten is picking it up fast...very fast, in fact...apparently you have an aptitude for languages.

Ten is Dad realising you have a knack for thinking outside the box, for seeing the big picture, for piecing together the puzzle...basically, it's Dad realising you have the reading age of a sixteen-year-old and an analytical mind, and getting you to trawl through county records and old newspapers and books and scrolls, looking for clues that can help on a Hunt. Ten is realising - despite what Dean says - this part of Hunting is actually kind of fun, and you're glad you can help out...especially since Dean's helping Dad with the Hunt, and you're stuck at home.

* * *

Okay...this is like being on a see-saw. Sam's done a bit of an about face on the Hunt...but then again, he's ten. He's allowed to.

Eleven will be up when I find out what the hell that knife is called...

luv ShaedowCat xox : (

p.s. To _wild wolf free17_: -:giggle-snort:- I can't put that in a fic! -:considers:- well, I _could_...not sure about this one, though...hmmm...oh damn, you let loose a plot bunny...

luv SC xox

p.p.s. To _Spuffyshipper_: in-show references only I'm taking...as in, it is spelt out, written down, or mentioned in some way by the characters in the canon

luv SC xox


	11. Eleven

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** nobody, no-one, nothin'...yes, I know, bad of me...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Legs Eleven...oh noes...bingo calls...-:head-smack:-  
First Review Request Fic goes to _Sparrow Lover..._ye gods! Another one! Just e-mail/PM your request to me...  
Thanks muchly lotsen to _Sparrow Lover, Spuffyshipper, Thru Terry's Eyes, Boleyn, noname32,&_ _help666_. The reviews are like V...vitalises body and mind! -:glugs a bottle of V:- Mmm, guarana...

* * *

Eleven is getting your first knife.

It has a curved, double-edged blade, with silver plating on each edge and a smaller back-spur so that, if you over-reach your first strike, you can reverse your strike and catch whatever it is a second time. It has a spiked pommel, a hilt guard, and the hilt itself is fitted for your hand; Dad says you'll have to get it refitted every six months or so as your hands grow.

Eleven is practicing with it every day...it's heavier than the knives you've been using before now, and Dad says it'll take a little while to get used to the extra weight, the extra power and momentum.

By the end of the week, you're used to it.

* * *

Okies...for all you who are waiting for the bow-hunting thing, it's mentioned next chapter. This is just a...well, a bit of a calm before the down-hill slide that began when Sam was nine, with the closet monster. There'll - hopefully - be little mentions throughout the rest of the chapters until Sam leaves of himwanting to get out of hunting...

Ouch.

Okay...hope y'all enjoyed this chapter...

-:glares at empty V bottle:-

Dude...I need more V...

luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	12. Twelve

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24 for some of it...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **The Midnight hour and all is well...yeah, I'll shut up now...  
Thank-you lots to _wild wolf free17 _(yes, the KoCK appears!)_, Spuffyshipper, noname32, kina24, _(somebody who did not leave a name)& _Sparrow Lover_ (yes, you won again_...Crazy Train_ is in production!)

* * *

Twelve is hitting a growth spurt that takes you from five foot to five five in the space of a month, gaining an inch a month thereafter for six months, shedding your puppy fat in the process. Twelve is growing pains that keep you up 'til all hours, Dean and Dad taking turns rubbing sore muscles until the aches fade away.

Twelve is jumping higher, running faster and for longer. Twelve is having to relearn a lot of things, like fighting, and using your knife: you have extra reach, now...extra height, and extra weight to go with it. Twelve is holding your own in spars with Dean, instead of having your ass handed to you in under three minutes every time.

Twelve is your first fight with Dad. Twelve is coming home, excited, talking a million miles an hour about how the coach thinks you'd be able to make the soccer team. Twelve is Dad saying you can't do it...you won't be able to make it to practice, or to the games...you have more important things to practice, like bow-hunting.

Twelve is telling Dean for the first time that it's _Sam_ instead of _Sammy_.

* * *

And we're back on the see-saw again...

Thirteen will be up soon...

I _really_ need to concentrate on my report...

luv ShaedowCat xox O.O


	13. Thirteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24...I think...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Thirteen...lucky for me, but nobody else...lol  
Thanks most thankful to _Thru Terry's Eyes, Spuffyshipper, noname32, Sammy girl at heart, _&_ pizzapixie_ (who reviewed One, I think...). The reviews are most frubjous stuffages...

* * *

Thirteen is Hunting...not just salt'n'burns anymore, not just placing wards or researching or studying Latin or stealing holy water or melting silver and forging bullets...actual _Hunting_, with Dad and Dean, riding along, going after a werewolf three counties over, to either restrain it or - if it's gotten a taste for human flesh - put a silver bullet in its heart.

Thirteen is running full pelt after Dean as the werewolf howls behind you. Thirteen is realising - really _realising,_ not just intellectually - the damn thing is _smart_...it knew to double back, to cut you and Dean off from Dad, who's older and - therefore - more experienced, and could take this goddamn ugly sonovabitch out.

_"Never knew...you had such a mouth on you...Sammy."_

_"It's...Sam."_

_"Boys, get down!"_

Thirteen is dropping to the ground a fraction of a second behind Dean, covering your head with your hands as a gun roars...once, twice...then the werewolf howls, and there's a _thump_ behind you, and you scramble to your feet, scramble backwards, staring at that goddamn _thing_, bump into Dean, who grabs your arm and hangs on tight. Thirteen is Dad running over, looking worried; you and Dean turn to him.

_"You okay boys? Dean? Sammy?"_

Thirteen is knowing it's not dead...you don't know how, you don't know why, but Dad missed, he goddamn _missed_...

Thirteen is spinning on your heel and putting two into its heart and one between its eyes. Thirteen is watching the savagery fade to shocked surprise fade to nothing...that which was once a person, reduced to a ravening monster, then to nothing more than a body to salt and burn.

Thirteen is waiting 'til you get home to be sick.

* * *

Eeep...I have no will-power. -:hidez:-

I was going to wait to post _Sam_'s Eighteen, but...yeah, I have no will-power. Forget you guys, _I_ can't wait to post the chapters for this thing...

So, yeah. As cool as it would be, I can't wait 53 days to post...

-:sigh:-

Eighteen will probably be up by next week sometime...maybe by next weekend.

-:sigh:-

luv ShaedowCat xox :&

p.s. Also...I was just about to post this, and then I realised I had to address one important-ish issue. Prepare for an:

**_Author's Ramble_**

Okay. Last time I wrote about one of the boys entering the Hunt, a few people commented on how they thought Dean would have been younger when he started...I guess that sentiment holds for Sam as well.

This is my reasoning.

For Dean to start hunting, John would have to be assured that Sam would be able to stay home and take care of himself. However, he wouldn't only be worrying about Sam's capabilities in doing that...remember, John knows "normal". He knows that people are going to talk if he leaves 5-, 6-, 7-, 8-, or 9-year-old home alone for days on end...I know my neighbours would've been skeptical if I'd been left home alone at that age (although, I was at age 9...). Just because a parent knows a kid can take care of themselves doesn't mean the neighbours do, and the neighbours could call Social Services and get them taken away.

Also, John would want to know they were able to take care of themselves on a hunt. I bet he trained them rigorously, ensuring their reflexes were at their peak and their skills were in top form before he'd let them tag along...I mean, he doesn't want his sons to be killed. -:meaningful look at _Sammy girl at heart_:-

Anyhow...that's my reasoning. Make of it what you will.

luv SC xox :P


	14. Fourteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Fourteen bottles of beer on the wall, fourteen bottles of beer...  
Thanks alot alot to_Sammy girl at heart, Sparrow Lover, noname32, _&_ Spuffyshipper._ The reviews are scrumptious.

* * *

Fourteen is 'legality'...a year after Dean, and he rags on you for it. Fourteen is wondering what the point an of ID is...you've been driving since you were old enough to both reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel.

Fourteen is passing Dean in height by an inch, and you rag on him for it.

* * *

This one and _Dean_'s Eighteen were short ones, I know...sorry...Fifteen and Nineteen are longer, promise. In fact,I think they're going to be the longest ones I've done (and will do).

Fifteen up soon-ish...I'm not making any promises...

luv ShaedowCat xox :)


	15. Fifteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** kina24  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Fifteen. I guess. Oh well. Oh, that's right. I gotta be excited 'bout this...First Review Request Fic Chapter. Woo! Yeah! -: half-heartedly waves flag :-  
Thanks a billion to _noname32, Spuffyshipper, Sparrow Lover, _&_Becomingwhatyourmeantobe._ Merry Christmas...um, yeah.

This is long. But don't get your hopes up.(Sorry, I just ate an entire bag of Skittles in two minutes, and my tummy hurts.)

* * *

Fifteen is _war_.

Fifteen is jolting awake with a yelp as something _cold_ touches your chest..._christ_, that's cold. Fifteen is jerking away, but it follows you, and you're swatting at your chest and yelling snatches of the Lord's Prayer in Latin as you fall over the side of your bed and land with a _thunk_. Fifteen is realising it's a handful of ice around the same time you register that's Dean laughing his ass off on the other side of the bed.

Fifteen is palming Dean's AC/DC Back in Black tape when you get out for a pit-stop at some random gas station. Fifteen is switching the labels on the tape with the ones on an ABBA tape, and leaving Dean's tape in the ABBA case while taking the ABBA tape with you. Fifteen is watching as Dean pushes the tape into the tape-deck, and you can't help but snigger at the look of shock on his face...you wish you had a camera. Fifteen is nearly catapulting through the windscreen when Dean slams on the brakes, then laughing the entire ten miles back to the gas station, where you watch as Dean goes in and tries to explain to the clerk why he needs to search through the entire ABBA stand.

Fifteen is, of course, having Dean try to go one better - you're never going to accept any food-stuffs from Dean ever again, even if they're sealed - and you of course having to reciprocate...the pranks start escalating, and in the back of your mind you wonder where it's going to end...and then one afternoon you tell Dean that a dog peed in his soda. Fifteen is waking up the next morning to find out the legs of _all_ your jeans have been stitched - _double-stitched_, that asshole - closed..._and_ your underwear.

Fifteen is handing the waitress a bag of jalapeños whiile Dean's in the bathroom...you tell her your brother likes his burger extra hot. Fifteen is managing to keep a straight face as Dean chokes, but you're cracking up by the time he starts running for the counter, looking for something to stop the burning. Fifteen is stopping dead when Dean glares at you over his shoulder...he looks kinda pissed. All right. A _lot_ pissed.

Fifteen is living in a state of constant terror, because although Dean hints and makes veiled threats (which, of course, you see through in a heartbeat) he doesn't _do_ anything.

A week passes. Nothing.

Two weeks pass. Nothing.

Three weeks pass. Nothing.

Fifteen is stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom, determined to get clean right _now_ because you were too tired after last night's escapades. Fifteen is pouring shampoo into your hands and lathering up your hair, trying to get out the dried sweat and dirt from digging up five graves. Fifteen is leaving the suds in while you wash off the rest of the grime on your body, then starting to wash them out. Fifteen is your hair coming away from your scalp, and you let out a yell at the sensation, at the feeling of smooth skin under your fingers instead of hair.

And then you realise.

_"Oh, son of a _bitch

_"Sam? Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah, Dad...I'm...I'm okay. Oh, _man

Fifteen is walking into the kitchen and being greeted with gales of laughter from Dean and a choked noise of disbelief from Dad asthey take in your bald - you're going to _kill_ him - head.

* * *

Okies...Fifteen down. Woohoo! First person to review gets a Request Fic. Yay! o/ o/

Also...extra thingywhatsit. This is a plea with all you who read this fic. People, if you _like_ this fic, please rec it out to anyoneyou think may be interested, because poor _Sam_ is getting considerably less attention than _Dean_. I know _Dean_is, y'know, awesome in all ways, but _Sam_my isn't bad either...

Okay...off to write Sixteen now. Oh, boy...

luv ShaedowCat xox :)


	16. Sixteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** No-one and nobody...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **If y'all didn't catch the announcement over on _Dean_...hey! It's me! I'm back! After nearly 4 months of tactical radio silence...or 4 months of slacking and doing uni instead of ficcing. You choose.

As I did on _Dean_, I'd like to thank the people who reviewed _Sam_, even when I'd been silent for a long time...it means a lot that you'd stick it out...especially since I know _Sam_ hasn't been as popular a story as big brother's has been.

And now, the apology...I'm sorry for reneging on the promise I made to update more frequently. As compensation, you're getting a double-shot of _Sam_...possibly a triple-shot, if doesn't play difficult and crash my computer...-: prays to jebus :-

A huge great thanks to _Degonda, Thru Terry's Eyes, Spuffyshipper, Sparrow Lover, WinchestersGirl, Sammy girl at heart, noname32, Becomingwhaturmeanttobe, kina24 (on my computer),_ &_ Nonasuki-chan._  
Request Fic goes to _Degonda_...if you're unsure what I'm yammering about, check out my profile page...hopefully it still has the guidelines there...

And now...onto the fic! Charge!

* * *

Sixteen is _fantastic_.

Sixteen is nearly ten months of peace and quiet and absolutely _no hunting._ Sixteen is not having to change schools four, five, six times a year. Sixteen is getting the chance to settle down for a bit, and actually have time to study like you want, instead of five or ten mintues snatched here and there in rest stops and the back of the car.

Sixteen is fights with Dad...you hint that maybe you could stay here until you finish high school, and Dad fires back that if there's a Hunt, you're damn well going to go on it...neither of you notice when Dean disappears, but it's two in the morning when you hear the low rumble of the Impala pulling into the driveway.

Sixteen is being filled with dread the morning Dad sits down at the table and says: _"We've got a Hunt. We leave tomorrow."_

* * *

Not as long as _15_ was, but it does the job, I feel. I hope you enjoyed this chapter...and the next one should be up in the next couple of minutes or so.

luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	17. Seventeen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** Nix  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Seventeen...I used to be that old...

No reviewers yet, seeing as I stuck the last chapter up less than two minutes ago...I'll thank those reviewers next chapter.

* * *

Seventeen is having enough.

Seventeen is coming to a decision you've been building towards since...well, for a really long time.

You can't do this anymore...you just _can't_.

Seventeen is, hands shaking slightly, dropping your stack of application letters into a post-box.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, for all that it's not even half a drabble. The next one is a bit longer, but _20_ is the one you want to hang out for...it's quite large...and it has angst and Jessica! Wheee!

luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	18. Eighteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** None  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Eighteen! Eighteen! w00t!  
Huge big molte grande thanks to _wild wolf free17, rebelling teenX5-494, Sade Lyrate, noname32 (x2), Alantie Mistaniu, Spuffyshipper, Becomingwhaturmeantobe, _&_ WinchestersGirl_. The reviews are like chocolate and cookies!

* * *

Eighteen is leaving.

Eighteen is packing all you own - or most of it anyway - that you'll need for Stanford into two duffles and walking the five miles to the bus station. Eighteen is getting into that bus that's headed for California, to Stanford, because there's a normal future out there with your name on it. Eighteen is being damned lucky the rain didn't start for real until you were on the bus, otherwise all your books would've gotten soaked.

Eighteen is realising someone - _not_ you - slipped your knife into your bag, and a vial of holy water, and your Glock, and a pack of sandwiches and a water bottle.

* * *

Um...this isn't short because I figured Sam wouldn't be talkative at this point in time...this is short because I'm, well...lazy. D'oh! -: head-smack :-

Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Nineteen shall be up soon.

luv ShaedowCat xox ; )


	19. Nineteen

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** Nothin' and nobody...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC (though, honestly, I'm rethinking that)  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **18, 18, 18 18 18...18...18...(ouch!)...19! 19! 19! -: falls over laughing :-  
Um, sorry...if y'all have no idea what I'm talking about, that's cool...it's just one of the funniest ads _ever_. I don't even know what it was for, but it was h.i.larious...for serious. If you want further info on the ad, see the end of this chapter.  
Anyhow, down to business...  
Thank-you o-so-very-super-duper muchly to: _noname32 (x2), Alantie Mistaniu (x2), Spuffyshipper (x2), Becomingwhaturmeantobe (x2), WinchestersGirl (x2), wcfan, Nonasuki-chan, _& _Sparrow Lover_. Your reviews are like a Grande Tim Tam Chiller from Gloria Jean's...they make me happy!

* * *

Nineteen is a whirlwind of courses and prerequisites and textbooks. Nineteen is two jobs - at a cafe and a bookstore - that just barely gets you enough money to pay for the aforementioned textbooks, let alone food and rent, so once or twice you supplement your income by hustling pool at a couple of the bars near campus.

Nineteen is noticing a distinct trend in the Obituaries in the local newspapers over the last few weeks...not that you've been looking or anything. Nineteen is doing a little research, a little legwork...and finally coming to the conclusion that an incubus is preying on the student body. Nineteen is throwing a mild temper tantrum - because, damnit, this shit wasn't supposed to happen here! - before getting down to work...two days later, the only names in the obits are for Matthew Farbeck (aged 67, died in his sleep) and Maria Sandoval (aged 28, died in a totally normal car crash).

Nineteen is finding a package on your doorstep Christmas Morning; there's no note, no card, but you know instantly who it's from. Nineteen is opening it to find a bottle of water - more holy water, you guess - a box of silver bullets for the Glock, a new whet-stone, a bag of rock salt, a bundle of cash - five hundred dollars in total - and a photo...the one of Mom and Dad, out the front of the house in Lawrence...your favourite one.

* * *

Okies, the ad...this guy is walking along a street, and he can hear these people chanting "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..." behind a fence. He can't see them at all - the fence is corrugated iron and seven feet tall - but he can hear them chanting "Thirteen thirteen thirteen...thirteen...thirteen...thirteen...", and he's getting curioser and curioser.  
Finally, he finds a hole in the fence, and he gets right up close, trying to see through. Suddenly, someone pokes him in the eye with their finger, and he jumps back. Immediately, the crowd starts yelling "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Hee hee hee hee heeeeeeeee...-: grins largely :- I _love_ that ad...

Anyways...I hope you all liked this chapter! Like I said over on _Dean_, the next chapter is going up tomorrow at 12.30pm AEST...and it mentions why Dean and Sam didn't speak for two years, as mentioned by Dean in _Pilot_.

luv ShaedowCat xox ; )

p.s. SUPER SEKRIT TO SPARROW LOVER: Honestly, the knife? _Total accident!_ I hadn't even thought about the knife in _Pilot_...I just thought it would tie in nicely, since I always thought Sam was more a knife guy, and Dean more guns. -: shakes head :- Bad Chantelle...no cookie...


	20. Twenty

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** moi!  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Twenty...eeeeek!  
See _Dean_ for explanation and apology...  
Huge big enormous thanks to: _Syriana, Thru Terry's Eyes, WinchestersGirl, Spuffyshipper, Sammy girl at heart _(who I am still a little scared of...)_, noname32, AmazonKit86, Nonasuki-chan, JJaneru, Lamae, Becomingwhaturmeantobe, _&_ angel679._ The reviews are so very very awesome!

* * *

Twenty is letting Dean crash on your sofa at three in the morning after he drags himself to your place, beat up and bloodied thanks to the rowdy poltergeist you'd been monitoring but he'd swooped in and gotten rid of. Twenty is taking a day off classes, just the two of you hanging out, like you haven't since you left. Twenty is getting into an argument...he wants to know when you'll finish with college and get back to the Hunt, and you say never. Twenty is Dean calling you selfish, and you calling him a toy soldier, and he walks out, and you slam the door behind him before turning and punching the wall.

Twenty is pretending the tears are from the pain.

Twenty is falling...falling for this one girl who bumps into you during a break at uni...nothing spectacular in and of itself - you've been attracted to girls at first sight before - but somehow this seems more real.

Twenty is thinking, as you bump into her for the second time, that maybe - just maybe - Jessica is the one for you.

* * *

Gimme 15 minutes...

luv ShaedowCat xox : P


	21. Twentyone

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** The voices in my head...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters, OFC  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **Twenty-one! Yay!  
As I said in _Dean_, I'm feeling guilty, so y'all get a double-shot...  
No thanks to anyone...y'all haven't reviewed yet...which is fair enough, seeing as it only went up about ten minutes ago...I'll thank you all in _22_.

* * *

Twenty-one is the first date...but it's not until a few months later that you realise it was your birthday, too. Twenty-one is buying her carnations and daisies, wishing they were roses, only to have her tell you just before you give them to her that she thinks roses are lame...and when you do give them to her, she tells you they're perfect.

Twenty-one is thinking, three months into it, that maybe - just maybe - you'll never have to tell her the secret, never break Rule Number One.

Twenty-one is thinking, nine months into it, that maybe - just maybe - you shouldn't have been so goddamned stupid as she digs her fingers across that sensitive spot just below your left ribs, tickling mercilessly until you relinquish the remote.

Twenty-one is hearing her humming off-key as she listens to her discman and dances gracefully around your apartment and thinking _Forever, always_. Twenty-one is vowing you'll do whatever it takes so you can have the belief in normality...have this chance at happily ever after.

* * *

Okay, the whole birthday thing? Is because I realised at 1.44 on the morning of June 8, 2006 - which is how long ago I had this part written...eeek! - that, if what Sam said about being with Jess for a year and a half is true, then he was twenty-one when they started dating. As in exactly, to the day. 2-November-2005 - 6 months is 2-May-2005. 2-May-2005 - 1 year is 2-May-2004. The 2nd of May is Sam's birthday.

What a birthday present...

And with that, I sign off for another day...I'll be back tomorrow with another chapter.

luv ShaedowCat xox : )


	22. Twentytwo

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **22...holy moly...we are this close (/) to the end, folks...geez...  
Tremendous thanks to: _angel679 (x2), wcfan (x2), noname32 (x2), Sammy girl at heart (x2), Spuffyshipper, Poaetpainter, JJaneru, piker84, kina24, _&_ Lamae._

* * *

Twenty-two is fire.

Twenty-two is watching an empty coffin being lowered into the ground...empty because the fire burned her all away. Twenty-two is leaving for two days on a hunt with your brother (_great) _and coming home to find your girlfriend pinned to the ceiling, blood dripping from her stomach, engulfed in flames (_terrible_).

Twenty-two is leaving Stanford after a week of investigating on a quest to find your father and get revenge, only to find out at twenty-three that that's not really the most important thing.

Twenty-two is leaving Stanford and knowing you'll never go back.

* * *

Wow...I can't believe it's nearly over. One more after this...and then it'll be annually updated. Wow.

Also...for those of you who were expecting...well, _more_, from this chapter - like descriptions of the hunts, like in _Dean_ - I decided not to, for one very simple reason: Sam. Didn't. Care.

Yes, you read right...Sam did not give an ass of a rat what was happening on the Hunt, as long as they were going after their father. Okay, I'll admit, he had to have given it _some_ thought, but for at least the first six months? I think he was so torn up over Jess, and so pissed at his Dad that he didn't know which way was up. It wasn't until _Asylum _and _Scarecrow _that he finally got his head around the fact that it isn't just the ends that matter...particularly _Asylum_, where his inner-most thoughts were forced out of him by Ellicott, and he had to really examine them.

Um...okay, enough rambling. Monday, I think, is when I'll be able to get the next chapter uploaded. 'Til then, sit tight everybody!

luv ShaedowCat xox : )

p.s.

Dear _Sammy girl at heart_,

What do u mean I'm a review-ho? -:wibbles:-

luv _ShaedowCat_


	23. Twentythree

**Title: **Sam  
**Author: **ShaedowCat (Me)  
**Beta:** ShaedowCat (Me) : P  
**Characters: **Sam, Dean, John, various other canon characters  
**Summary: **A series of snapshots through the years of Sam's life  
**Notes: **23  
Thanks so very, _very_ much to everybody has ever reviewed _Sam_...your dedication means a lot to me.  
Huge round of applause to: _noname32, angel679, JJaneru, Lamae, Spuffyshipper, Becoingwaturmeantobe, _& _Nonasuki-chan._ Your reviews give me that warm and fuzzy feeling.

* * *

Twenty-three is hard.

Twenty-three is your brother nearly dying...of a _heart condition_. Twenty-three is nearly choking as you realise that it's something normal - something truly, painfully _normal_ - that could kill him...granted, he was injured while hunting a Rawhead, but still..._normal_.

Twenty-three is finding Dad...or, him finding you. Twenty-three is finding, and being found, and then losing him again all the same, because of shadows and blood and love...and wasn't that last one supposed to make you stronger, not be a weakness?

Twenty-three is meeting Sarah...falling hard and falling far...but catching yourself before you're lost entirely. Twenty-three is Dean being a pushy bastard...and Sarah actually _getting it,_ and not backing away, and pushing forward anyway...and thinking _Jess, I love you...will always love you...but I'm letting you go,_ as you turn on your heel, march back up to the door, knock on it...and let yourself fall.

Twenty-three is finding Dean tied to a chair in the house of a family of psychotic freaks after he came looking for your stupid sorry ass. Twenty-three is seeing Dean almost break in the face of his family splintering apart. Twenty-three is listening as Dean recounts a moment that holds so much meaning for him, and yet is a moment you don't even remember; twenty-three is finally _finally_ understanding why Dean acts how he does...with you, with Dad, on the Hunt. Twenty-three is listening - hearing - as Dean tells you - finally _tells_ you - exactly what he's thinking, feeling.

Twenty-three is finding Dad - or, him finding you - again. Twenty-three is accelerating past, pulling over, getting out, stepping up, facing down. Twenty-three is thunder, fury, sound...intimidation, recrimination, communication...taking sides, drawing lines...then Dean stepping in-between, blurring those lines, standing up to you...and to Dad. Twenty-three is pacing, worrying...sitting down and listening...talking and laughing and - for the first time since you were...what, twelve? - bonding.

Twenty-three is watching Dean risk Dad's wrath by using a bullet to save you when you have none to spare. Twenty-three is watching as Dean flirts with death by telling the Demon he killed its kids, drawing the attention away from you.

Twenty-three is realising just how much Dean has sacrificed for you. Twenty-three is realising you'd sacrifice just as much for him.

Twenty-three is Dad dying. Twenty-three is realising that Dad thought you were a threat.

Twenty-three is being determined not to be.

* * *

Well...end of the line, folks. I can't believe it. 23 chapters of insanity...and I enjoyed every minute of it. To tell the truth, I got a lot more satisfaction out of writing _Sam_ than I did _Dean_...because with _Dean_, it was _easy_. Dean and I are on a similar wavelength, so it was easy to figure out what he'd say, what he'd do, how he'd react...whereas with Sam, I have _no freaking clue!_ It was a lot harder to get into his head, to see and say things from his point of view...a lot of people say Dean's hard to read, but for me the opaque one is Sammy.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank absolutely everybody who has read _Sam_. Those people who actually _reviewed_ get a cookie, too. (-;-) (p.s. That - (-;-) - is a cookie...chocolate-chip.) You guys were amazing...without your support...and yes, your heckling...(-:glares at Melissa:-)...I probably wouldn't have made it to the end. Thank you all very much.

Anyhow...like I said over on _Dean_, I've got a few projects I'll be undertaking in the coming days/weeks/months/years..._Blood_ will be finished up soon-ish, and a sequel may be posted...I'll be finishing up those request-fics I owe to people...I'll be taking prompts if anyone can be bothered to PM me...and (the one I'm most excited about) I'll be starting a new WiP, called _In the Shadows, Looking On_. It'll be an ep-by-ep look at the beginnings of (most) of the creatures that the boys have encountered...so if you want to know exactly _how_ the Wendigo began its gruesome transformation, this is the fic for you.

Well, that's it from me, I guess, for _Sam_...until the end of Season 2, I guess. If there's anything you guys _particularly_ want me to mention in _Sam_'s 24, PM it to me at the end of S2.

Okay...this is it. Hope everyone enjoyed this fic.

luv ShaedowCat xox : )

p.s. Oh, _Lamae_...oh god, now I feel so very, very bad. Please don't be upset! Have a cookie! (-;-) ! Have a fic! I don't know! -:wibbles:- Um...okay, I gots it. If you have a prompt for me, PM it to me, and I'll write you a fic, and I'll try to post it by Friday. Okay?

luv SC xox : P


End file.
